


Letters & Mistakes

by huffle_puffle_pow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drarry, I'm Sorry, M/M, One Shot, THIS IS DEPRESSING
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 00:24:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13283028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huffle_puffle_pow/pseuds/huffle_puffle_pow
Summary: Draco felt like he could vomit. His mind was drowned in thoughts, swimming with emotions. He could barely breathe.So that is how, at 2h12 in the morning, Draco Malfoy sat cross-legged in his bed, writing a letter to such chosen one.ORDraco writes a letter. Someone's got a girlfriend. Let the angst commence. I'm sorry.





	Letters & Mistakes

Draco buried his head in his hands. It was two in the morning and he had yet to succumb to sleep. His mind was wandering. Wandering to him. To the insufferable raven haired chosen one. The insufferable, beautiful, awful, amazing, raven haired chosen one. Draco felt like he could vomit. His mind was drowned in thoughts, swimming with emotions. He could barely breathe. 

So that is how, at 2h12 in the morning, Draco Malfoy sat cross-legged in his bed, writing a letter to such chosen one. 

A very long one at that.

* * *

Draco's day went by as usual. Crabbe and Goyle lumbered after him through the entrance hall to breakfast. Draco didn't make any snide remarks to anyone this morning. His eyes strung after not sleeping, he could feel the purple bags beneath his tired eyes. But he was not tired. No, not in the slightest. He was determined. He was going to tell Harry bloody Potter how he felt, shove the letter into his stupid, perfect hands, and walk away. 

Draco didn't listen to Pansy's flirting. He didn't hear her talking about the rumour of Ginny Weasley's new boyfriend. He didn't listen to the rude comments. He didn't look at the food as he shoved it into his mouth. His gazed was fixed on the door to the great hall. 

Then he spotted it. Three students talking and laughing as they walked happily to the Gryffindor table. His heart did a backflip. He couldn't help it, a soft smile played at the corners of his mouth. He loved it when Harry laughed. He dreamed about one day being on the receiving end of his laughs. Harry looked over from Hermione, him and Draco locking eyes. Draco felt his face warm. He looked down. He loathed himself. 

* * *

He ended up leaving the great hall early. Crabbe and Goyle tried to follow but he held up his hands. He wasn't dealing with this today. He didn't want the blundering buffoons behind him all day. So he told them to wait. 

He walked to class alone, the air smelling nicer without Crabbe and Goyle there polluting it. Turning down a hall, he put a hand up to run through his hair, only to pull it black covered in gel.

Slipping into the bathroom, he turned on the creaky faucet and rinsed his gelled hands. 

"Fuck this." He murmured, looking at his reflection.

Lowering his head, he ran water through his hair until the gel had dissolved. He cast a warming charm, his hair drying, falling into his eyes. He combed through it with his fingers. He looked in the mirror and couldn't help but grin. He looked different, yes. But different good he decided. Leaving the bathroom, he swung his bag over his shoulder and marched to his first class.

* * *

Turns out minor hair changes are noticed. A lot. By many people. Many times. It was annoying to say the least. Pansy called him rebelliously handsome. He ignored her. He saw Potter and his friends, passing them briefly in he hall. He heard them whispering and his heart began to pound. Crabbe and Goyle had been dismissed by him earlier, and he honestly was starting to enjoy it. He didn't need to be protected. He cursed himself for being such a fucking prat. 

* * *

As he sat at lunch, Draco caught the raven haired Gryffindor staring at him unblinking. Mustering up all his curouge, Draco finished his lunch, looked up, flashed a genuine smile directly at him, and walked out of the hall. He glanced back to find Harry gaping after him.

He soon regretted it. Very much regretted it. Was he fucking out of his mind? He just fucking smiled at his "arch nemesis". Harry must be suspicious. Draco wanted to bang his head against the wall. He grabbed his books from the empty slytherin common room. As he began his walk to class, he froze. Harry was storming towards him, eyes ablaze and bag swinging ferociously at his side. Draco wanted to run, but his legs felt limp. Harry cornered him, Draco began to back up. 

Don't get so close.

He could feel the Gryffindors breath prickling his skin. 

"What the hell Malfoy, explain." 

Draco was perplexed, he didn't know what to say. He was flustered, he couldn't manage to smirk like he knew what Harry was talking about, because he really didn't. 

"Why did you smile?"

Oh fuck.

Draco felt himself blushing madly. He looked down.

"Dunno what your talking about." He lied. He hated himself.

"Cut he crap, I saw it. What are you up to? You're different." 

Draco blushed harder. So despite how dense he could be he really had noticed. 

"O-oh really?" said Draco, struggling to keep his voice stable. 

Harry glared at him "What are you fucking planning, I swear to--"

Draco grabbed Harry's face and kissed him.

He kissed him. 

What in Merlin's bloody beard was he doing?   
He needed to pull away.

But then Harry did the last thing Draco expected. 

Harry kissed back.

Harry pushed Draco up against the wall, Draco's head hitting it a little harder then he'd have likes. A small yelp escaped Draco's lips and he prayed Harry didn't hear. He prayed this wasn't a fucking dream. He was kissing Harry fucking Potter. And it was just as he had imagined. Draco moved his hands to the untidy raven hair he'd longed to run his hands through. Harry's tongue flicked the inside of dracos mouth before deepening the kiss. Draco ran his hands through the boy's hair. It was soft and warm through his fingers. Harry moved a hand up the blondes shirt, tracing delicate lines up and down his sides, making Draco shiver. Everywhere Harry touched felt like fire.

The two only pulled apart when their lungs were empty. Harry's eyes were wide as he stared at the blonde. Draco looked back at him. Then the realization of what he had just done came crashing down. He had just kissed Harry Potter, the chosen one. So Draco did the only thing that seemed sensible. 

He booked it.

* * *

Draco was paranoid all day. Just the sight of black hair or glasses made him jump and his heart ricochet around his chest. The slightest touch made him twitch. He couldn't take it. He skipped dinner out of fear of Potter confronting him.

In the Slytherin common room, he finally started to relax. He was still on edge however. He sat in the plush green armchair trying to concentrate on the conversation with Zabini and Parkinson, but he couldn't focus. Not until he heard Potter's name did he snap his head up to look at pansy. 

"What about Potter?" said Draco, attempting not to let his voice waver. Pansy laughed, it was high pitched and irritating, the kind that made Draco inwardly cringe.

"Oh just his new girlfriend, the weasel girl."  
Draco had to clamp his jaw shut to prevent it from falling open.

No. No this can't be possible.

Draco wanted to scream, but he kept his mouth clamped shut. His mind was racing. What did this mean? Why did he kiss him back then? Was it really just a dream? 

No. 

Draco decided that the afternoon's occurrence wasn't a dream. It couldn't be.

That night Draco couldn't sleep, yet again. Images of Harry arm in arm with Ginny "Weaslette" Weasley made his head hurt. He felt like crying. He felt confused. He felt absolutely hopeless.  
He fell asleep in the early hours of morning, mind still racing, but too tired to pay much attention.

* * *

Draco woke with a start, looking horrified into the surprised eyes of Blaise "Mate you alright? Ya look like ya seen a ghost."  
Draco looked down at his bed sheets, tangled and all over the place.  
"Bad dream, s'fine."

Draco took his time getting down to the common room. He let his hair fall into his eyes, and let his cronies go ahead. He walked down slowly, taking shallow breaths as the great hall came into view. He sucked it up and walked in, not daring to make eye contact with anyone. He plopped down between Pansy and Crabbe, glancing up at the Gryffindor table. Weasley and Granger sat in their usual spot, but Potter was nowhere to be seen. 

"No big deal." Draco told himself. But it was a big deal as soon as he noticed Ginny wasn't there either.

"Draco, are you even listening to me?"  
Draco turned to see Pansy pouting at him. He stiffened ever so slightly before responding.

"Sorry, what'd you say?"

"I said that you seem out of it today."

"I'm fine." said Draco coldly, picking up a piece of toast and lifting it to his mouth, just as two people entered the hall. Holding hands. One of them, raven haired and bespectacled. He wanted this to be a dream, but he knew all too well it wasn't. 

Harry looked over at Malfoy, his eyes looked sad. Draco dropped his toast, flushing slightly. He snapped his head down, not daring to look up for the rest of breakfast. 

Pansy walked with him all day. He listened to her stupid comments, but didn't have the heart to say anything snobby. He only retorted when Goyle tried to ruffle his hair and got slapped hard. 

"Geez, what the hell is up with you."  
It was Blaise this time who voiced it. At dinner as Draco stared blankly at his goblet of pumpkin juice.  
"Nothing. Didn't get much sleep. I'm sick. What's it to you anyways?" Draco knew how stupid he must sound. He stood up and left the great hall, just to catch a glimpse of Harry and Ginny laughing. Draco felt anger bubble up in his chest. 

* * *

It was only getting worse. He kept seeing them together. Harry kept catching his eye and Draco kept looking away. It all hurt. He barely slept anymore. 

Harry had tried to catch him often but Draco had managed to slip away or one of Harry's fans intercepted them. Draco didn't know how much more he could take. He had to give Harry the letter. The letter explaining how he felt. End this once and for all. 

* * * 

Draco sat down at the Slytherin table for lunch, determined to not be so disconnected. He laughed at the snide, rude comments. He ate his lunch. He stood up to leave, and looked at the Gryffindor table. Harry looked over from his conversation, looking directly at Draco. Draco managed a weak smile before leaving the great hall. He couldn't just hide forever, could he? 

He sat through classes. He took his notes. He payed attention. He acknowledged those who spoke to him. He ate dinner and talked to people like any normal person. 

He ignored the hurt in his heart.

He left early. Saying he needed desperately to finish a paper for potions and strode out of the great hall.

However, Draco didn't go back to the Slytherin common room. He walked to the gardens instead, sitting down on a bench. He needed air. He took deep breaths and looked down at his feet. Suddenly he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. He whipped his head around, only to find the silhouette of a raven haired boy approaching him. Draco's breath caught in his chest as he stood to face the fast approaching boy. 

"What're you doing here Potter?" Draco's voice was cold, he felt like such a prat.

"I needed to talk to you." said Harry, he sounded genuinely concerned.

"Why?" Draco responded,   
"There's no need Chosen One, I'm sure you have plenty of people to talk to, especially you're. . ." Draco's voice trailed off as Harry began to step closer. And before he knew what was happening, he felt soft chapped lips press against his and he was melting. Draco's legs felt limp, but Harry's arms were soon around him and his around Harry's neck. Draco didn't know how long the kiss lasted.

Seconds. 

Hours. 

Days. 

But before he knew it he was pushing the raven haired boy away and backing up. 

"No," He whispered "I-i-i"

"Draco, I'm sorry-"

Draco. He had called him Draco.

"No, this- you- what are you thinking?" He couldn't let Harry finish.

"You just don't get it. You can't go around kissing people when you have a fucking girlfriend!"

"Draco, listen-"

"No! I-i-i" Draco could feel his heart searing with pain at the sight of Harry looking at him. His emerald eyes begged for forgiveness, love, anything. Draco looked away, rummaged in pocket of his slacks, and pulled out his letter.

"This is it," he thought "isn't it?"

He shoved the letter into a bewildered Harry's hands.

"Draco, wait!"

But it was too late, Draco had broken into a run, tears burning his eyes, Harry's words echoing. He didn't look back. 

He couldn't.

* * *

When he returned to the common room, the sky was streaked with crimson. Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle were waiting in there. 

"Where were you?" asked crabbe, looking Draco who was out of breath.

"Went for a run," Draco panted "terrible idea by the way, do not recommend."

They laughed. Of course they did. He sat down with them and they told him how Pansy had made Blaise laugh so hard hat he had accidentally snorted pumpkin juice out his nose.

Theodore Nott came in later that evening, telling them all how Potter had come into the entrance hall looking like he was about to cry. Everyone laughed. Draco tried his best to hide the pain that struck his heart after hearing that.

It was 12h56 when they all decided to go to their dormitories. Pansy stoped Draco on his way up the staircase, and asked him out for the sixth time that week. He emotionlessly responded "yes", and went to his bed feeling empty. 

He didn't have the energy to care anymore.

* * *

The next morning he walked hand in hand with Pansy Parkinson, wearing a smirk and laughing as she commented about Weaslette's atrocious bed-head, he didn't think about Harry Potter.

He ate breakfast, walked to charms with his arm around Pansy's waist, and didn't think about Harry Potter.

He ate lunch, made snide comments about the weasel giving his teapot a tail in transfiguration, and didn't think about Harry Potter.

He ate dinner, and left the great hall with Crabbe and Goyle as Ginny Weasley began to snog Harry.

Draco smirked and raised and eyebrow when Harry gave Draco a note. He laughed as Goyle asked Potter if he was confessing his love.

He strode away, his two cronies and Parkinson cackling with laughter at Potter's broken expression. 

He opened the note in his bed with the curtains closed. 

He read the the 3 words scrawled on the paper, and watched them bleed as his tears struck them. 

He fell asleep with tear stains on his cheeks, and the note, ripped cleanly in half. 

It was too late. 

He fell asleep empty and broken.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorryyyyyyy. This was depressing but the idea came to me and I couldn't say no to the angst.


End file.
